Saturday, September 10th, 2005
|
|
11:06 pm - Future Failure
|
I never want to wake
I'll always want to stay
I realize I may
Never walk away
I never could believe
I'd reach here finally
What do you need from me
Why would you follow me
What's inside the lie
How do you get so high
No wings to help me fly
Wouldn't it hurt if I try
We will never be
It's all because of me
There might be a key
But it's not a part of me
I don't want it to come
Please don't leave me here dumb
More painful than some
And no where I can run
I never want to wake
I realize I may
I don't want it to come
More painful than some
|
|
|
|
Sunday, June 26th, 2005
|
|
11:12 pm - Infect
|
Somewhere on a mountain you can find me
Cast away by everyone
I've seen you hiding within the trees
Don't let them see the freak show one
I can't believe you let it be
Infection's grown so carelessly
The blisters won't cripple me
Only those uncontrollably
I'm just too tired to fight it off
My body's broken like before
I think it's time I've had enough
Can't feel the love anymore
Somewhere on a mountain you can find me
Cast away by everyone
I've seen you hiding within the trees
Don't let them see the freak show one
I can't believe you let it be
Infection's grown so carelessly
The blisters won't cripple me
Only those uncontrollably
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
|
|
10:04 pm - Contraption
|
So many times I'm down on my knees
And every single time I fail to please my eyes
Listen to the cries, they're not from me
They're coming from the lives that dwell outside
You tell me that I'm fine, that I'm alright
I'm trying to believe you're gonna be a friend
Cause I'm trying not to feel contrite
I'm needing something to bring it to an end
Would you all please leave
I'm fighting with myself
Keeping up with me
Comes from somewhere else
Humming melodies
I hide them on a shelf
You just fuck with me
I'll show you someone else
Walking in circles, we're back here again
I swear to God, I think I've seen you before
It takes the strength of a thousand men
To not even look at a vulnerable whore
I can't believe I tried to realize
The reason why I cringe when you're inside
Cause it's me you try to penalize
When to every fucking rule, I abide
Would you all please leave
I'm fighting with myself
Keeping up with me
Comes from somewhere else
Humming melodies
I hide them on a shelf
You just fuck with me
I'll show you someone else
Searching...
Searching for a reason
I can't cry
Searching...
Searching for a reason
I won't cry
I'll wait
I'll stay
I'll waste away
Until you say
I'll wait
I'll stay
I'll waste away
Until you say
Would you all please leave
I'm fighting with myself
Keeping up with me
Comes from somewhere else
Humming melodies
I hide them on a shelf
You just fuck with me
I'll show you someone else
|
|
|
|
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
|
|
8:16 pm - Filthy
|
Here it comes again
I can feel it crawling in
Sinking in my skin
I'd could kill again
Do I see the world
Like a little filthy girl
This how you're gonna feel the world
But then you steal my eyes
And that's how you explain
You're tied down with these lies
Too tired to complain
I'm wishing I could leave
Cause I cannot take much more
Watching you go through with this
My eyes are getting sore
Fuck, no
Yes it's there again
Fuck, oh
God, it's there again
Here it comes again
I could do away with sin
Seeing every life begin
Let me walk you in
You know you like it filthy girl
I know you like the filthy girls
But then you steal my eyes
And that's how you explain
You're tied down with these lies
Too hurt to complain
I'm wishing we could leave
Cause I cannot take much more
Watching you go through with this
My eyes are getting sore
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
|
|
8:09 pm - Care?
|
Somewhere, there's someone in pain
They're screaming in vain,
But I don't care
Someday, you'll all go away
You'll all fade and fray,
But I wish I cared
Somehow, you'll eat your way out
Not a trace of doubt
Cause I don't care
Something...and I'm not sure what
Is keeping me shut
But I just don't care
Someone, will finally come
I'm sick of feeling numb,
But they won't care
|
|
|
|
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
|
|
5:28 pm - I Don't Know
|
All the drugs that exist
Won't save you from the pain
You'll slowly drown in this
You'll slowly go insane
I don't think I can wait
I don't know if it's right
You to live, it's too late
Gonna leave you to die
I can hardly resist
When it finally ends
You're gonna drown in this
The bullshit will transcend
|
|
|
|
Monday, April 18th, 2005
|
|
6:07 pm - Forget the Forgotten
|
Burn off the nerves
It won't be different
Smooth out the curves
It's something different
I'll fade away
And things dismember
I see today
You don't remember
I think I've been forgotten
But I’m not quite sure
And I think I’ve gone rotten
It seems premature
Now I’m just a memory
Never really there
Past consuming all of me
No one ever cared
Forget my name
And stare with confusion
Forget about fame
It’s just an illusion
See me again
Just maybe tomorrow
We’ll see until then
The faces I borrow
I think I've been forgotten
But I’m not quite sure
And I think I’ve gone rotten
It seems premature
Now I’m just a memory
Never really there
Past consuming all of me
No one ever cared
|
|
|
|
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
|
|
12:45 am - Fly
|
I said you're hitting the glass
And you're denying the fact
You're stuck in these four walls
I think I've lost you again
I think I've lost a new friend
No, you're crawling on the wall
If I could catch you in my hand
You'd be safe from any man
As long as you're in my sight
If I could only understand
Why the window where you land
There's attraction to the light
See, you can't go through the glass
And you can't accept the fact
You're stuck in these four walls
I hear you're buzzing again
I think I've found a new friend
A fly crawling on the wall
|
|
|
|
|
12:45 am - Anesthetized
|
I couldn't tell you if I'm dead
I can't tell if there's a heart there
These can't be feelings in my head
Can't feel the feelings, it's not fair
If I stay this way
I am immortal
If you go away
I question moral
My God, I'll never feel these things
Novocaine running in my veins
Not fair to me, you kill your kings
Not fair for me, I'm numb always
What's this crystal that's in my eye
Slithering trails down my face
It isn't fear of alibi
It's keeping clean without a trace
It's another way
If you become immortal
It's you who falls
And question's your moral
My God, I'll never feel these things
Novocaine running in my veins
Not fair to me, you kill your kings
Not fair for me, I'm numb always
I can't feel your touch
And thanks to you
It doesn't hurt as much
You're seeping through
Nothing seems worse than this
I hate to think of you
It's nothing I'd ever miss
And still you're seeping through
It doesn't hurt as much
But still you're seeping through
My God, I'll never feel these things
Novocaine running in my veins
Not fair to me, you kill your kings
Not fair for me, I'm numb always
I'm numb always
And still, you're seeping through
|
|
|
|
|
12:44 am - Remember?
|
Dying in a memory
Killing whatever hides in me
False assumptions about me
Forgetting that you just might bleed
Seeing there's no need for me
Thought I was what I had to be
Fuck all things you may believe
Remember what you said to me
Dying with this memory
Killing whatever grows in me
False assumptions reaching me
Forgetting what you just might need
Seeing there's no need for me
Thought I was what I had to be
Fuck all things you may believe
Remember what you said to me
|
|
|
|
|
12:43 am - ...said, "...
|
Why even look up
There's nothing there
Nothing special
Yet still I see you stare
I keep counting
Every time unfair
Always fighting
There's nothing there
Why don't you
...nevermind
Why can't you
...nothing kind
Nothing seems to be the same
Choking on what you say is true
Hiding from all the shame
Searching what to say to you
Why even look up
We're not yet there
Something special
Hurts my eyes to stare
I stopped counting
Everything's unfair
I stop fighting
I'm not yet there
Nothing seems to be the same
Choking on what you say is true
Hiding from all the shame
Searching what to say to you
I find it's hard not to think of you
I find I'm stuck on words to say to you
I bind all the thing's that remind me of you
Alright...so what should I say to you
Nothing seems to be the same
Choking on what you say is true
Hiding from all the shame
Searching what to say to you
Something seems to be the same
Breathing cause what you say is true
Throwing out all the shame
Knowing what to say to you
|
|
|
|
|
12:43 am - I Hate This One...
|
Am I what you expected
Coming undetected
And so soon I can see
You look so happy with me
Please, it just takes some time
Then you see, everything's fine
Believe me that when I tell you
I feel so happy with you
"Forever" will be again
And "never" will soon begin
No voices in my head
I can't believe I'm me again
Now I'll just wait here
Until you have nothing to fear
But now I have nothing to do
Now I feel so lost without you
Am I what you expected
Coming undetected
And so soon I can see
You look so happy with me
"Forever" will be again
And "never" will soon begin
No voices in my head
I can't believe I'm me again
|
|
|
|
|
12:42 am - Disapate
|
It seems to fade
So far away
Changing shape
What's at stake
So watch it fade
Farther away
Tears you waste
They seem to stay
So stay and wait
Comes back always
Forget, I may
It all disapates
So count the days
Show me the way
Rest one day
It all disapates
I close my eyes
Lose sense of time
Believe the lies
Can't tell what's mine
Reveal your eyes
Look down from sky
Can't reach that high
Jump, can't, why?
|
|
|
|
|
12:42 am - Finding a Way
|
So empty, so hollow
It's always the same
Nobody to follow
No one to give fame
Living so plainly
Nothing compares
Fearing the same thing
Always unfair
Finding a way to someone's heart
Bleeing still where ripped apart
Somethings seem to never end
Have to find a way again
So empty and hollow
When will this all change
Simply a shadow
That needs nothing but change
Dying so gently
Need someone who cares
Wanting that something
Never seems fair
This endless wait is slowly killing me
I cannot breathe
Will something happen just so suddenly
Or until I leave
Finding a way to someone's heart
Bleeing still where ripped apart
Somethings seem to never end
Have to find a way again
|
|
|
|
|
12:41 am
|
Hiding behind the shadows
Remaining unknown
Feel far from shallow
Should I let her know?
Longing to see her face
She speaks to me again
Pulls me from a hidden place
Could something here begin?
|
|
|
|
|
12:41 am - Asleep
|
Away and asleep in my own little world
Probably dreaming of another girl
Smiles and laughs I know we'll share
But as soon as I tell her, I know she won't care
Feel so different from what it seems
You appear just to visit my dreams
Haunt me forever, till I know I'm damned
Eventually leading me right where I am
|
|
|
|
|
12:41 am - Your Words
|
Confused by your words
They don't seem what they mean
Yet these thoughts won't leave my head
Torture and healing
But this time I'm feeling
The thoughts that are unsaid
Used by your words
Conversations now hurt
You are everyone watching me
All the time by myself
Now I think I need help
Can you see what I want you to see?
Defy your own words
And just leave me behind
I'll wait for your return
Create my own pain
My mind drowning in shame
A lesson never learned...
|
|
|
|
|
12:38 am - Child
|
So were they all just lies?
Handed off a silver platter
Did you try to comprimise?
Did it ever really matter?
I'm not a fucking child
Don't need to hide the jar from me
You knew it all the while
I'd find it out eventually
I'm growing sick and tired
Don't need to hide the jar from me
You'd play because you're wild
Realize it wasn't meant for me
So were you just a liar?
Trying to copy what you had
Did you try to start a fire?
Trying to copy what you had
I'm not a fucking child
Don't need to hide the jar from me
You knew it all the while
I'd find it out eventually
I'm growing sick and tired
Don't need to hide the jar from me
You'd play because you're wild
Realize it wasn't meant for me
Were you really looking out for me?
Did you think it wasn't fair?
Is it really what you think you see?
I'll lie,"I'm not scared"
Not a fucking child, no
Give the fucking jar to me
Not a fucking child,
Just give it to me
I'm not a fucking child
Don't need to hide the jar from me
You knew it all the while
I'd grow it out eventually
I'm not a fucking child
Don't need to hide the jar from me
You'd play because you're wild
Knew I'd find it eventually
|
|
|
|
|
12:35 am - Forever Afternoon Pt. 2
|
Slowly sinking, bleeding through
Better seen than ever
Holding on, waiting for you
It cannot wait forever
Frozen time, a “Gilded Age”
The clock is standing still
Another moment on a page
They’re staging our free will
But something they don’t realize
The shadows reaching further
Happening right before their eyes
The light is sinking further
There it is, a flash of hope
It’s peeking through the trees
Look inside, kaleidoscope
There isn’t much to see
No, it can’t, don’t let it set
There’s more than what appears
Shouldn’t say goodbye just yet
As darkness will soon near
But something I now realize
The shadows reaching further
It happens right before my eyes
The light is sinking further
As we’re dwelling in this place
Forever afternoon
We finally come to face
The shadow coming soon
|
|
|
|
|
12:34 am - Echo
|
Where is everyone?
You didn't have to leave
I thought you would be there for me
So I wouldn't have to weep
I see past all your lies
Promise to return the echo
I see them all within your eyes
Something that has stopped the echo
I see you're having fun
But it doesn't include me
I thought you would stand up for me
So I wouldn't ever need
I see past all your lies
Promise to return the echo
I see them all within your eyes
Something that has stopped the echo
You wouldn't ever realize
This would take place again
Hating everyone in your life
This has taken place again
These feeling I keep inside
I thought they were meant to share
I thought that if I let them out
There'd be someone who care
Now I realize there never was anyone there
I see past all your lies
Promise to return the echo
I see them all within your eyes
Something that has stopped the echo
You wouldn't ever realize
This would take place again
Hating everyone in your life
This has taken place again
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
livensynthesis's journal